When you've been roaming the Pennsylvania wilderness since 1863 but the government keeps losing your paperwork. Meet Bigfoot—America's most elusive veteran who's been trying to collect his Civil War pension for over 160 years, but bureaucracy moves slower than his legendary stealth skills.
That pristine military uniform? He's kept it pressed and ready for every VA appointment he's scheduled (and they keep rescheduling). The gothic lettering perfectly captures his "I've been dealing with government red tape longer than your great-great-grandfather" energy. This isn't just cryptid fashion—it's a masterclass in persistent customer service endurance.
Our hirsute hero represents every veteran who's ever gotten lost in the system, except his "lost in the system" situation is more literal (and involves significantly more forest dwelling). That bayonet? Standard issue for cutting through bureaucratic red tape when conventional methods fail.
Perfect for anyone who appreciates the absurdity of government processes, cryptid culture, or the idea that somewhere in Pennsylvania, there's a 9-foot-tall civil servant still fighting for his rightfully earned benefits. The design speaks to every person who's ever felt invisible to the system—except in this case, the invisibility is an actual survival skill.
Available in multiple colors, though we suspect Bigfoot prefers earth tones for optimal camouflage during his ongoing quest for administrative justice.
Disclaimer: May cause spontaneous urges to file historical grievances and an inexplicable knowledge of 19th-century military protocols.
When you've been roaming the Pennsylvania wilderness since 1863 but the government keeps losing your paperwork. Meet Bigfoot—America's most elusive veteran who's been trying to collect his Civil War pension for over 160 years, but bureaucracy moves slower than his legendary stealth skills.
That pristine military uniform? He's kept it pressed and ready for every VA appointment he's scheduled (and they keep rescheduling). The gothic lettering perfectly captures his "I've been dealing with government red tape longer than your great-great-grandfather" energy. This isn't just cryptid fashion—it's a masterclass in persistent customer service endurance.
Our hirsute hero represents every veteran who's ever gotten lost in the system, except his "lost in the system" situation is more literal (and involves significantly more forest dwelling). That bayonet? Standard issue for cutting through bureaucratic red tape when conventional methods fail.
Perfect for anyone who appreciates the absurdity of government processes, cryptid culture, or the idea that somewhere in Pennsylvania, there's a 9-foot-tall civil servant still fighting for his rightfully earned benefits. The design speaks to every person who's ever felt invisible to the system—except in this case, the invisibility is an actual survival skill.
Available in multiple colors, though we suspect Bigfoot prefers earth tones for optimal camouflage during his ongoing quest for administrative justice.
Disclaimer: May cause spontaneous urges to file historical grievances and an inexplicable knowledge of 19th-century military protocols.
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